Naked Lady Monday: Velveteen Edition

Everyone goes through a lesbian movie phase. That time when you devour every lesbian movie ever made in a mad frenzy of curiosity, anthropological discovery and how-to guide practicality. It’s that time of your life when you actually watched “Claire of the Moon” and “Bar Girls” from start to finish. That time of your life when you’d watch an entire movie just to see Jennifer Connelly and Kristy Swanson kiss for like a half second, and was excited for that half second.

Of course, almost more fun that recalling your lesbian movie phase if comparing notes on your lesbian movie phase with other lesbians. The only thing that can redeem the irreplaceable 95 minutes of your life you spent on “Bar Girls” is to share your pain with others who also spent those 95 minutes wondering if perhaps lesbianism wasn’t such a good idea after all. But the really great thing about comparing notes on one’s LMP is to introduce someone to an entirely new lesbian movie genre. Hence this weekend I introduced some friends to the sublime British smut that is “Tipping the Velvet.”

Now, the first time I saw the BBC adaptation of Sarah Waters’ lesbo suit-and-bodice ripper was on BBC America. And the problem with watching the BBC in America is our Puritan roots start to show and you miss all the good bits. Having read the book as well, it was a far cry from the sweaty, thrusting romp through Victorian England that I remembered. But then I watched the British version. Oh, BBC, you so naughty.

So, naturally, I showed my friends the good version. And darn it if we didn’t stay up until 5 a.m. watching the adventures of Nan and her magic fingers (and other add-ons). I’m fairly certain I’ve created a new customer for “Fingersmith” as well. So in case, by some fluke, “Tipping the Velvet” has escaped your LMP as well or if you just want to relive the naughtiest of the naughty bits with me, here is an entirely NFSW trip down memory lane. I can’t believe they played this on regular old TV in the UK. Oh, to be British.

[REMINDER: Totally, completely, really not kidding NSFW]

As I told my friends when it was all over: “You’re welcome.”