Pillar of Salt

Well hello again, Action Angie. The poster and trailer for Angelina Jolie’s new spy thriller “Salt” are out. And they both make no mistake in telling us who is the star here. (Though, they make her look a little like a genetically-engineered mash-up of Milla Jovovich and Megan Fox.) Of course, it’s hardly news that Angelina is a mega movie star. But what I like about this film in particular is that it was originally meant as a star vehicle for Tom Cruise. But when he turned it down Angelina stepped seamlessly in instead. The last film I can think of where a woman stepped in for a man was Jodie Foster’s 2005 thriller “Flight Plan.” The trailer shows us plenty of heroic running and jumping and kicking butt – all things we’ve seen from Angelina before. But what I like, both in the trailer and poster, is the suggestion of something more dangerous. Is she a good patriotic American or is she an evil Russian spy sent to destroy us all? Also, since when are the Russians our movie bad guys again? Take a look for yourself.

Now, I like my Angie with a little edge. In her best roles like “Girl, Interrupted” and “Gia” she unleashes something wild, almost primal. The popcorn crowd has certainly let it be known which Angie they prefer: Action Angie – big box office, Drama Angie – not so much. Of course, I do worry that things could get repetitive. I mean, how many times can we watch Angie jump onto a moving vehicle and head butt a guy? Oh, OK – just this once more. So, what do you think? Will you give “Salt” a try, or are you more into Pepper? Hey, don’t groan. You know I couldn’t resist. Commend me for holding out this long.

p.s. Am I the only one who is having a serious OCD issue with her being slightly off center on the poster? No? Just me? Fine, I’ve got to go scrub the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush anyway.

Tank Top Tuesday

So last week the sad yet inevitable news came that “Dollhouse” was done. Sure, the writing was on the wall. But to know it’ll be gone for good is just – deep sigh. At least we get to see all 13 episodes from this season. Fox at least gave us that. Now, I could go on and on about what a shame this is. Joss Whedon does best when his creations have room to grow – to deepen, to fumble, to evolve. The show was, indeed, getting better with almost every episode. Was it perfect? No. But it was always ambitious and never dull. Television that dares to ask the big questions – like about the soul and free will and the very nature of existence – is a rare and wonderful thing. I suppose I am thankful that we got two seasons at all. And I am equally thankful for the opportunity to get to know and further appreciate the women of “Dollhouse.” They are all talented and lovely and I will miss visiting with them on Friday nights. So, how better to send them off than as nature (and Joss, judging by their attire on the show) intended than in tank tops. And yes, sports bras totally count as tank tops.

Eliza DushkuCome back and kick ass on my TV anytime you want, honey.

Dichen LachmanThe tank top in lieu of pants is always, always a good choice.

Miracle Laurie

It’s a crime they didn’t put Mellie/November/Madeline in more tank tops. A crime, I say.

Olivia WilliamsMe! Me! Lasso me!

Summer GlauSpeak softly and carry a big-ass gun.
[Catch Summer’s first appearance when “Dollhouse” returns for its final run Dec. 4]

Amy Acker

In my defense, I think that scrap of cloth masquerading as a top actually used to be a tank top.

Leave it to Beaver

I’m back, kittens! I missed you! Did you miss me? How was your week? I hiked to the top of a waterfall and drank many cocktails, not necessarily in that order. Gosh we have a lot to catch up on. But first and foremost, I need to talk a little more about Jodie Foster. To be more specific, I need to talk about Jodie’s beaver. Wait, no. Not that beaver. Also, why the fuck is it called beaver? Because unless we’re talking about that biting movie “Teeth,” I really don’t see how a large, flat-tailed, buck-toothed rodent has anything to do with our sensitive lady business. OK. Right. So I’m way off track here. BACK TO JODIE’S BEAVER. Ahem.

Jodie, as you might have heard, is directing and starring in a new movie. A movie called “The Beaver.” A movie about a man who communicates with a beaver puppet he wears as if it was a real person. Sounds crazy, is crazy. And because crazy loves crazy, Mel Gibson is starring as said crazy beaver-talking guy. No, I did not make that up – I am not nearly that creative. Now, reading about this is one thing, seeing it is entirely another. I mean, this shit is nuts, no?

Yes, the only answer is yes. First, there are just too many jokes to make here. A man, a beaver, Jodie Foster? Head spinning. Mind racing. Must. Stay. Focused.

OK, funny business aside, Jodie plays Mel’s wife in the movie. The two have been good friends since they co-starred in that 1994 Western comedy “Maverick.” And she famously defended him after the whole getting arrested for drunk driving, blaming the Jews for everything Mel-O-Drama a few years ago. This is actually one of his first movies back since that ugly incident. Well, who knows, maybe a wacky comedy about a man who keeps his hand up a beaver is exactly the vehicle Mel needs to make people forget about his raging antisemitism. Or maybe running around looking like an idiot on screen is part of some karmic penance.

As awkward as it always is to watch Jodie romance a man on screen (remember “Contact” and her negative chemistry with Matthew McConaughey? Better yet, don’t), this movie at the very least doesn’t sound dull. Yes, I still have problems with Mel. But, dude, a beaver puppet.

Adding to my amusement is the appearance of Cherry Jones, who has a yet-undisclosed role in the film. Though Cherry’s mere presence on set was enough to spark rumors on The Internets that she and Jodie were an item. These rumors were quickly and decisively shot down by Cherry’s ex (and still good friend) Sarah Paulson.

Well, shoot, that would have been quite an interesting pairing. But, at least we have more fodder for our inner 12-year-old. I mean – come on – two lesbians in a movie about beaver? These jokes just write themselves.

Vacation Vixen: Jodie Foster

How anyone can look at this woman and not see a red-blooded, card-carrying, toaster oven-loving, 100-percent lesbian is beyond me. Also – and more to the point – yum. Be back Monday, all.

Vacation Vixen: Sue Sylvester

God, Jane Lynch melted every inch of my heart last night on “Glee.” It was so unexpected and so lovely and so heartfelt – and that’s hard to do in a tracksuit. The entire episode was amazing. Touching. Hilarious. Beautiful. Just like Jane.

[Click to embiggen, image via betternovembers]

Vacation Vixen: Neve Campbell

Whatever happened to Neve Campbell? While most gay gals (and a considerable number of frat guys) probably remember her best camping it up with Denise Richards in “Wild Things,” my fondest memory is of tuning in special to “Party of Five” to catch her oh-so-brief kiss with Olivia d’Abo (who will always be Kevin Arnold’s older sister to me). Whatever happened to Olivia, too, while we’re at it?

Vacation Vixen: Gillian Anderson

My sentiments exactly.