Vacation Vixens: Emma Thompson & Helena Bonham Carter

Looks like Sybil Trelawney and Bellatrix LeStrange went through kind of an experimental phase in college.

God save the queens

God save the queens of England. After watching “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” last weekend, I reaffirmed my long-simmering Anglophilia. Heavens, the Brits are lovely. First of all, those accents. God damn, those accents. And they’ve got crisp composure about them. You know, that stiff upper lip thing. But then there’s that wonderful juxtaposition that can happen. Those proper accents, that cool exterior and then seemingly out of nowhere the they can say the most shockingly hilarious or absolutely filthy things. It’s the bawdiness under the sophistication that I think I enjoy the most. I mean, any dame who’ll wrap herself in a union jack flag and nothing else at age 65 and look better than most 25 years old doing it, well, that’s a woman you want to share a pint with – preferably more. A few more of my very favorite English lasses. Rule Britannia, baby.

Lena HeadeyAnd now I have to go rewatch “Imagine Me & You,” immediately.

Rachel WeiszOf course she married 007, just look at her.

Shelley ConnSome of you thought I didn’t give Shelley the proper love in the “Nina’s Heavenly Delights” post. Trust me, I love her good and proper.

Helena Bonham CarterSure, Bellatrix is totally evil and batshit crazy. But, admit it, also kinda sexy.

Kate WinsletSuch a pretty face, such a potty mouth.

Alex KingstonWhat I wouldn’t give to roll over and say, “Hello, sweetie.”

Kristin Scott ThomasDon’t you hate it when jam from your crumpet gets on your hand and you have to lick it off slowly? Wait, sorry, got the wrong word again – replace “hate” with “love.”

Julia OrmondI feel forever robbed by Showtime for not giving us a Julia/Eve Best love scene on “Nurse Jackie.”

Emma ThompsonFew people so fully embody a word as Emma does “delightful.”

Emma WatsonI always knew she would grow up, well, perfect.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Tie Me Up Edition

Who doesn’t love to tie one on? A necktie, people, a necktie. Sheesh, bunch of drunks here. As a kid, I loved ties. My father rarely wore them, so when he did we knew it was a special occasion. That, of course, led to their mystique. I had a few hand-me downs my dad gave me to play dress up with. In fact, one of my favorite things to do was to wear one of my dad’s old 60s Lord & Taylor suit jackets (slim-cut, so they almost fit), slick my hair back and put on a tie. Geez, and you wonder why it took me forever to figure out The Gay. I haven’t worn one in a while. But with lovely ladies like Katharine Hepburn as inspiration, perhaps it’s time to give it another try. Now, who wants to show me how to tie a Windsor knot again?

Ellen PageI looked a little like her swimming in my suits back in the day.

Gillian AndersonShe looks a little like she is auditioning for “The Office.” Oooh, maybe she can be the new Michael Scott.

Hilary SwankGod, she makes a handsome boy, doesn’t she?

Janelle MonaeIt is one of my greatest wishes that Janelle will help usher in a trend of women in beautifully cut tuxedos.

Kirsten DunstTaking ties off can be as fun as putting them on. Sometimes more.

Emma ThompsonI believe the word you’re looking for here is rawwwr.
[Hat tip, babsf!]

Clara BowThe It Girl in a tie and suspenders. Now we know what “It” was.

Ingrid BergmanIngrid in that tie is totally worth more than a hill of beans.

Marlene DietrichNo Gender Fuck Thursday is truly complete without her. Period.

Cocktail hour

Emma Thompson got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last weekend. So, naturally, she celebrated with a pint and a pig. Naturally. Now, my love for Emma is unwavering. She may falter at times, but her heart is always unquestionably in the right place – even when she is talking smack about Audrey Hepburn. She is among those celebrities I put in my “I’d love to have a beer with” category. I mean, wouldn’t she be a blast at the bar? These are the folks whose big, magnificent brains and bubbly, radiant sense of fun make them the perfect candidates for a cocktail, or six.

Emma ThompsonSuch a pity her Safe website is still down. That last picture of her would have been a real conversation starter.

Helen MirrenIf you think she is a saucy minx sober, just wait until you get a couple cocktails into her.

Wanda SykesMy only worry is I’d laugh so hard I’d pee my pants, especially after a few drinks.

Rachel MaddowI believe it’s a life goal to taste a drink mixed by the master.

Jane LynchThat stuff I said about Wanda, ditto.

Leisha HaileyAnd if she brought along Kate Moennig and Erin Daniels, all the better.

Hillary ClintonOh, Hill. I will buy you a drink anyplace, anytime, anywhere. Standing offer, forever.

The safety of objects

Women. They are gorgeous, certainly. But just as gorgeous can be their capacity for good. And when they bring their gorgeousness and their goodness together for one project, well, that’s when you have to sit back and admire the view. Now right now I bet you’re looking for a for instance. And boy do I ever have one. The amazing Emma Thompson has proven even more amazing by launching the new website Safe for her upcoming book by the same name. The project shows famous, and in the future unfamous, women photographed in the places they feel most safe. It is a benefit for the Helen Bamber Foundation, a UK human rights group dedicated to helping victims and survivors of human trafficking. Emma has long been an advocate for the group and spoken out against sex trafficking. All sales of the book will go toward the foundation and, as Emma writes, “will help those for whom no safe place exists.”

The pictures are pretty, but the purpose is beautiful. A sneak peek.

The preview also features Vanessa Paradis, Keira Knightley, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Uma Thurman, Julie Christie, Sharon Stone, Minnie Driver, Emily Blunt, Charlotte Rampling, Rosamund Pike, Demi Moore and the entire Richardson clan (including, touchingly, Natasha). Also included in the book will be such heavy hitters as Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Oprah, Catherine Deneuve, Gong Li, Tilda Swinton, Queen Latifah…I could go on and on (check the “see who else is invited” link in the credits). And she wants you. The site solicits submissions from us about the places we feel the safest. To make it into the book, which publishes in the spring, they must be sent by October.

Really, you should just click through the preview and experience it yourself. It is lovely, moving, brilliant. Just be sure to click all the way through past the end of the credits. There’s one last surprise that, while NSFW, is well worth the wait. Now that’s a grand finale. Like I was saying, gorgeous.

UPDATE: The site appears to be temporarily down. So be sure to check back later. (OK, I think it is back up, but if it goes down again, patience. It is worth it.)

World according to Emma

Every day could use a little more Emma Thompson, don’t you think? She has always been a favorite, what with her insistence on not futzing with her face and always eating desserts. And every since she make the deliberate decision to take her name off that awful petition, we are free to love her unabashedly again (not that the love ever went anywhere, it was just muted with deep disappointment). Still for whatever reason it’s easy to forget her continued brilliance and constant lovability – I blame her living all the way across the pond. But then she says something so brilliant and so lovable you just want to fly across the Atlantic to knock on her door and give her a big old hug. Well, you would if that damn unpronounceable volcano wasn’t still mucking up the works.

I mean, how else am I supposed to feel when she tells the Daily Mail that she is “a bit of a fundamentalist about all that size zero stuff” and that the only way to combat the ultra-thin mindset is to:

“Put on weight and say F*** off. Demand bigger sizes. Go into places where you can’t get a 38D bra and say, ‘I want a 38D bra and give me one. If you can’t, I am never coming here again.”

See, don’t you just want to hug her for like five solid minutes? Also, who else could look this radiant while walking a pig?

Well, consider this a virtual, cross-Atlantic hug. A few of my favorite moments on the incomparable Ms. Thompson.

Channeling Jane Austen at the Golden Globes in 1995


Channeling her inner Daytonian for Ellen in 1998


Channeling her inner exotic dancer on Ellen in 2006

Told you every day could use a little more Emma.

Unbreak my heart

File this under: Oh, thank God. Emma Thompson might just unbreak my heart. Of all the names on the Free Polanski petition, her signature hurt the most. There are others who disappointed, of course, by signing onto the celebrity rape apologist parade: Tilda Swinton, Natalie Portman, Penelope Cruz and Kristin Scott Thomas, among them. But Emma, well, her late addition to the ranks was a shock to the system. No, not our Emma.

Our Emma, the fierce fighter of sex trafficking, the advocate against fiddling with your face, the unapologetic smartie, the bawdy wit and the champion of always eating dessert. No, not our Emma.

And now, it seems it really will be no, not our Emma after all. The prodigiously talented Oscar winner has said she will remove her name from the petition. And we have the courageous work of Shakesville reader Caitlin to thank for her change of heart. You see, Caitlin, a student at Exeter University, knew she was going to have the opportunity to meet Emma at a campus event. So she set up a petition online, gathered 400-plus signatures of her own, and then took them to Emma to ask her to reconsider her signature on Roman Polanski petition.

And wouldn’t you know it, but Emma listened. As Caitlin wrote to Shakesville:

Emma did not have much time between meetings, but she gave me all of the time that she had. I asked her why she had signed the petition, and she explained about how well she knows Polanski, how terrible his life has been, and how forgiving the survivor of the rape all those years ago now is. She said she thought the intentions of the judge were unclear, as were the intentions of those who arrested him recently. She told me that a lot of her friends had rung her up asking her to sign the petition, so there had been a certain amount of pressure. She said that she had already been thinking a lot about the petition, as others had expressed their dismay at her signing it.

I handed her our petition and the comments. She read them both through thoroughly, and came back to me. She said, while she supported Polanski as a friend, a crime is a crime. I don't know whether she had realised the extent of Polanski's crime, but she is now fully aware. She will remove her name from the petition – in fact, she said she would call today and sort it out. Even though, she stressed, Polanski has had some truly terrible experiences in his lifetime, experiences that we couldn't even imagine and which should not be taken out of the equation, she agreed that she could not put her name to a petition asking for his release....

She left me with this, to pass on to everyone who has signed the petition/raised awareness of this issue: “Know that I will remove my name because of you, and all of the good work that you have been doing. I have read your petition. I have heard you. And I will listen.”

Never underestimate the power of one person to effect change. We forget this sometimes, amid a crushing sea of injustices. But sometimes all it really takes is one voice to pierce the darkness. Thank you, Caitlin. And thank you, Emma, for listening.

UPDATE: Emma is officially OFF THE PETITION. Broken hearts really can be mended. Recommence loving every inch of her great big magnificent brain...and other bits.