Gender Fuck Thursday: Break the Tie Edition

Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! OK, you get where I’m going here, right? I’ve discussed my love of a nice tie – bow or neck – in the past. But the question always remains – tied or untied? Which is sexier? Often it’s situational. Start of the date: tied. End of the date: untied. Really, the great thing about a tie is its ability to be either or, whenever you want it. Fine, too much kumbatie for you? Then go ahead and decide for yourself. Tied? Untied? Delightfully loose like Noni? Some choices are just…fun.

Janelle MonaeTied, definitely tied.

Jane LynchWait, untied, definitely untied.

Noomi RapaceDammit. No, I mean it, tied.

Kate WinsletNo! I was so wrong. Untied!

Regina SpektorFine. I give up.

Monica BellucciI said I give up.

Hope SoloNow you’re just hurting me.

Naomi WattsOfficially dead.

Right, so what did you decide? Tied or untied? I know, both.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Drag Edition

There’s gender fuck, and then there’s Gender Fuck. The world witnessed the latter last weekend when the incomparable Lady Gaga went full on Jo Calderone for the entirety of the MTV Video Music Awards. Not only was it one of the only times I’ve ever seen her in an outfit that didn’t involve mirrors, bubbles, spikes or require refrigeration. Regardless of what you thought of her lengthy leering performance as Jo, you’ve got to admire her commitment. Hell, Gaga was even packing. So today let’s celebration those who dare to drag with mustaches – or without. All hail the kings.

Kristin Scott ThomasEat your heart out, Ivan Aycock.



Katharine HepburnThey don’t make movie stars like this anymore – male or female.



Brooke ShieldsDid you know Brooke pulled a “Yentl” in the movie “Sahara?” Neither did I.



Barbra StreisandOf course, nothing beats the real thing.



Anne HathawayUnsurprisingly, the woman who looks like a Disney princess in real life looks like a Disney prince in drag.



Natalie PortmanNow I’m thinking they missed a brilliant potential “mustache ride” scene in “Black Swan.”



Veronica WebbAlso unsurprisingly, beautiful models make handsome fellows.



Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell & Linda EvangelistaVery handsome fellows.



Julie AndrewsNever mind raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Julie in a suit and tie is more than a few of my favorite things.



Lady GagaWhen he’s not glowering ferociously at the world, that Mr. Calderone is one GQ motherfucker...



...But when he is he kind of looks like an extra from “The Outsiders.”

Gender Fuck Thursday: Leave Your Hat On

Hey, remember how much you all loved that picture of Hayley Atwell wearing a hat? You know the one, with the suspenders. And the tongue. Fine, OK, and the tank top. Yep, now you remember. Well, Hayley’s jaunty little chapeau got me thinking. Women should wear more hats. No, not like those crazy Kentucky Derby battleship headpieces or those even crazier royal wedding ornamental antler displays. I mean more traditional hats. Your fedoras. Your newsboy caps. Heck, even your top hats. If I wanted to wear a peacock on my head, I’d wear a peacock. But when I want to wear a hat, I wear a fucking hat. Like Queen B above, and these fine ladies below.

Evangeline LillyBeing stuck on that island all those years really robbed us of valuable time we could have been watching Evangeline wearing a tux and fedora.



Jennifer Jason LeighRemember back in the 90s when every movie either starred Jennifer Jason Leigh or Bridget Fonda, sometimes both?



Keeley HawesOh, Kitty, Kitty. You terrible, terrible heartbreaker.



Maria BelloIn the new “Prime Suspect” remake, the big controversy so far isn’t that she’s filling in for the formidable Helen Mirren – it’s that she wears that fedora.



Joan as Police WomanObligatory joke about how if she was a real police woman, I’d let her cuff me any day.



Audrey TautouIf Coco Chanel really made suits like this for women, I would so buy one. OK, not really. I’m a writer and couldn’t afford one. But I’d covet one, that’s for sure.



JD SamsonWho knows, maybe the garrison cap will make a comeback after.



Piper PeraboThey should make her wear more hats on “Covert Affairs.” Yep, definitely more hats.



Marlene Dietrich



Women, men, animals, minerals – take note. Now that’s how you wear a fucking hat.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Gay It Forward

Right, so sometimes the lovely ladies who gay it forward wear suits instead of tank tops. Which is fine by me. I’m equal opportunity when it comes to my preferred lesbian attire. And I can’t think of a better subject to lead the way than Carla Gugino. She’s had more lesbian and lesbianish scenes than the cast of “The L Word.” Granted, the movies are largely of questionable quality. “Jaded,” “Rise: Blood Hunter,” “Center of the World,” “Sin City,” “She Creature.” They’re not exactly “Citizen Kane.” But, you know, A for effort. Though I really think we should get a petition going to finally put Carla in a good lesbian movie. It’d be a crime to let someone who looks that good in a suit go to waste. A damn crime.

Jaime MurrayIf Myka saw this you know she’d throw herself at HG, non-corporeal form or not.



Jordana BrewsterIf you ever want to find the lesbians in a crowd, just yell the name “Lucy Diamond” and see whose heads swivel faster than you can say “D.E.B.S.”



Amy AdamsWhile I’ve never seen the rest of “Standing Still,” I will admit to watching one particular scene more than once.



Chloe SevignyI have no idea what’s going on with the strange face kerchief. But seeing her in a jacket gives me warm fuzzies about her uber butch hottie in “If These Walls Could Talk II.”



Christina HendricksI kept the “Without a Trace” where she played an agoraphobic lesbian on my DVR for an unusually long time.



Kristin Scott ThomasI know, I’ve been on a bit of a KST kick of late. But with “Love Crimes” coming up and “Tell No One,” “Bitter Moon” and that scene in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” where she said she was a lesbian once in college all in the bag, can you really blame me?



Heather MorrisIt’s Brittany, bitch. And I have a lot more to say about her over on AfterEllen a little later today.



Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew BarrymoreIt’s the hat trick of lesbian kisses with Cameron in “Being John Malkovich,” Lucy in “Rise: Blood Hunter” and the “Ally McBeal” kiss heard around the world and Drew in “Poison Ivy.” With that track record it’s amazing they didn’t work in a threesome kiss in “Charlie’s Angels.” Well, there’s always the new TV show.



Sasha AlexanderDr. Maura Isles wearing Det. Jane Rizzoli’s clothes? I’ll be in my bunk, possibly forever.

p.s. Maura is totally checking out Jane’s ass in her dress here.

Gender Fuck Thursday: The Swinton

There is no one, not on this planet or this galaxy, who so thoroughly embodies what I enjoy about Gender Fuck Thursday than Tilda Swinton. She exists in a universe that totally disregards the boxes we put ourselves into. She is the woman who fell to Earth, and I fucking love it. Part fiery goddess, part folk legend, part space alien, all delicious. We get sold cookie cutter perfection everyday and told to call it beauty. But Tilda defies any mold known to man. Delicate, yet fierce. Beautiful, yet strange. Talented, period. No, wait, exclamation point. There are not enough exclamation points.

Perhaps one of the most of many delightful things about Tilda is that she has crafted her public persona this way on purpose, yet not in a calculated way. In an interview and intergalactic photoshoot with W magazine, she said her red carpet style is a collaboration with her close friend Jerry Stafford, the creative director of a French production company and “It’s a game, and we have great fun with it.”

And her definition of androgyny is even more refreshing.

“People talk about androgyny in all sorts of dull ways,” says Swinton, noting that the recent rerelease of Orlando had her thinking again about its pliancy. “Cahun looked at the limitlessness of an androgynous gesture, which I’ve always been interested in.”

Her style inspirations include her male androgyny doppelganger, David Bowie, and her father, Maj. Gen. Sir John Swinton.

“From childhood, I remember more about his black patent, gold livery, scarlet-striped legs, and medal ribbons than I do of my mother’s evening dresses,” she says. “I would rather be handsome, as he is, for an hour than pretty for a week.”

Mission accomplished, Swinton. Mission a-fucking-complished.

[All photos by Tim Walker. Click any to expand.]

Gender Fuck Thursday: In Knots Edition

So, I’m thinking of wearing a tie out this Pride Weekend. I don’t usually wear ties, though I love them. As a kid, playing dress up with my dad’s old disguared ties was one of my most favorite games. (Seriously, how did I not know earlier?) But as an adult I haven’t ventured out in them too much for a number of reasons. My workplace is pretty casual. I’m not actually all that butch. I’m absolute rubbish at tying them. And, well, it can be a little stereotypical (I know, I know – big gay watch, big gay thumb ring, big gay chunky belt already). But this year I’m just really feeling the allure of a beautiful cravate. Naturally, I turn to my ladies of the gender fuck for inspiration. My, what lovely inspiration it is.

Annie LennoxWatch and learn, children, watch and learn

Marion CotillardShe makes me want to be a better woman in men’s clothes.

Anne HathawayThis photo proves that Anne needs to play gay in a movie immediately, if not sooner.

Karolina KurkovaI don’t usually feature models (let alone two, with Miranda Kerr above), but I was helpless against the killer lip bite and loose tie combination.

Kate MoennigCan’t explain the hair or the gloves. But I do love the tie.

BeyoncéI just like how she’s always leaning. Against stuff. She leans great

Selma BlairIf this was a “No Shirt, No Hands Down Pants, No Service” establishment, Selma would be in big trouble.

Lucille BallThe real reason we loved Lucy.

There, now don’t you feel all inspired? Now the only question left is which knot to use. And when, exactly, to loosen it.