Photobomb the system

Grab your flak jacket. Throw on a helmet. It’s time to get photobombed. One of my favorite photos from this year’s Emmys wasn’t a SGALGG moment (because there were precious few to be found, and trust me I looked). No, it was an explosively awesome photobomb by my No. 1 Fake TV Wife Tina Fey. While one might say I am predisposed to think everything Tina does is explosively awesome (and one would be right), I think even under the casual, objective observer would be hard pressed to think differently. Tina photobombing Amy Poehler, Martha Plimpton and Mark Burnett at the Governor’s Ball ranks among my all-time favorite celebrity photobombs. But, of course, there are others. So in the spirit of silliness, please enjoy a few of my favorite celebrity photobombs. Beware celebrities: No matter how hard you pose, another celebrity might sneak in and drop a hilarity grenade.

Sasha Alexander by Edoardo PontiGetting photobombed by your husband? Awkward.

Lucy Lawless & Rob Tapert by Renee O'ConnorGabrielle photobombing Xena? That has to be the start of a fan-fic somewhere.

Taylor Swift by Daniel CraigThis photobomb is shaken, not stirred.

Justin Timberlake & Olivia Wilde by Hugh LaurieHouse has about a million N’Sync jokes running through his head.

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Angelina Jolie by Michael DouglasThis is less of a photobomb and more of a wishful thinking.

Perez Hilton & Amber Riley by Lea MicheleSee, Lea doesn’t always pose for photos the same way.

Sandra Oh & Thomas Haden Church by Paul GiamattiPaul did this because they made him drink Merlot.

Ang Lee & Uma Thurman by Jake GyllenhaalOne of the all-time classic photobombs. Drink responsibly, kids.

Tina Fey by her daughter, AliceWhat can I say, like mother, like daughter.

p.s. “Parks & Recreation” is back tonight on NBC, so watch it y’all or Ron Swanson will photobomb all your future formal portraits.

Vacation Vixen: Sasha Alexander

Kittens, I’m on vacation again. But don’t worry, it’s just for a quick week. I’m popping back home for a long-overdue family visit. But while I’m away, as always, I will leave you with the variety of vivacious Vacation Vixens to view. But, because I love you, I will do my best to still bring you this week’s Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recap. It also may be because I seem to be a little unclear on the definition of the word “vacation.” So, please enjoy the scrumptious Sasha Alexander today. And come back to AfterEllen tomorrow for a recap of tonight’s episode.

Give it to me, baby

You guys, seriously. You guys. You probably already saw this last week. But if you didn’t, it’s one hell of a way to start the work week. And even if you did, it’s still one hell of a way to start your work week. This is Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon enjoying a little on-set dance party for the Angie’s birthday last week. For first timers and repeat viewers alike, it’s certainly something to aspire to in the workplace. Just think how the work week would fly by if we all danced our day away through the office. Oh, Sasha. Oh, Angie. You make me feel gayzzoli all over.

EDIT: Well, shit. I do not know why the video was marked private all of sudden. I hope it’s just a temporary mistake. Until it is made public again, please enjoy this older vintage of Angie Harmon dancing on set instead. It’s still a pretty fantastic way to kick off the work week.

EDIT 2: Embedded with a working reupload of the dance party. Get your groove on.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Gay It Forward

Right, so sometimes the lovely ladies who gay it forward wear suits instead of tank tops. Which is fine by me. I’m equal opportunity when it comes to my preferred lesbian attire. And I can’t think of a better subject to lead the way than Carla Gugino. She’s had more lesbian and lesbianish scenes than the cast of “The L Word.” Granted, the movies are largely of questionable quality. “Jaded,” “Rise: Blood Hunter,” “Center of the World,” “Sin City,” “She Creature.” They’re not exactly “Citizen Kane.” But, you know, A for effort. Though I really think we should get a petition going to finally put Carla in a good lesbian movie. It’d be a crime to let someone who looks that good in a suit go to waste. A damn crime.

Jaime MurrayIf Myka saw this you know she’d throw herself at HG, non-corporeal form or not.



Jordana BrewsterIf you ever want to find the lesbians in a crowd, just yell the name “Lucy Diamond” and see whose heads swivel faster than you can say “D.E.B.S.”



Amy AdamsWhile I’ve never seen the rest of “Standing Still,” I will admit to watching one particular scene more than once.



Chloe SevignyI have no idea what’s going on with the strange face kerchief. But seeing her in a jacket gives me warm fuzzies about her uber butch hottie in “If These Walls Could Talk II.”



Christina HendricksI kept the “Without a Trace” where she played an agoraphobic lesbian on my DVR for an unusually long time.



Kristin Scott ThomasI know, I’ve been on a bit of a KST kick of late. But with “Love Crimes” coming up and “Tell No One,” “Bitter Moon” and that scene in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” where she said she was a lesbian once in college all in the bag, can you really blame me?



Heather MorrisIt’s Brittany, bitch. And I have a lot more to say about her over on AfterEllen a little later today.



Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew BarrymoreIt’s the hat trick of lesbian kisses with Cameron in “Being John Malkovich,” Lucy in “Rise: Blood Hunter” and the “Ally McBeal” kiss heard around the world and Drew in “Poison Ivy.” With that track record it’s amazing they didn’t work in a threesome kiss in “Charlie’s Angels.” Well, there’s always the new TV show.



Sasha AlexanderDr. Maura Isles wearing Det. Jane Rizzoli’s clothes? I’ll be in my bunk, possibly forever.

p.s. Maura is totally checking out Jane’s ass in her dress here.

My Weekend Crush

Each time I see Sasha Alexander, she’s a little more gorgeous than the time before. Which, considering how gorgeous she is to start with, is pretty near impossible. But there she goes, each time anew, making me think – “No, this is the most gorgeous I have ever seen her. This.” She has a sophisticated sereneness about her that plays perfectly off of co-star Angie Harmon’s coltish kinetic energy. But outward gorgeousness, even the exponentially increasing kind like hers, is really nothing when not coupled with inner beauty. And by all account Sasha has that as well. And with each new interview, my respect for her increases as well.

Being one of the leads on a hit new TV show about a crime-fighting pair that even your grandmother has started to wonder aloud if they’re LLBFFs with benefits must be somewhat overwhelming. The flood of fervent fangirls. The flood of are they or aren’t they questions. But rather than pish-posh fans or squash speculation, Sasha has been universally magnanimous about the gay talk. She told TV Guide that the subtext discussion was “a great compliment. Angie is a beautiful woman, and I can't say we don't make a hot pair.” And she told Jimmy Kimmel that “Everybody’s a little bit more gay these days…. Best friends can be very gay.” Her embrace of the fans and our love for these characters and their chemistry is refreshing. She doesn’t just tolerate us, she truly appreciates us.

And speaking of that Kimmel interview, can we just talk for a second about that dress? Sweet merciful Zeus, that dress. I’m pretty sure the laws of physics dictate that she had to be poured into it that dress. And her hair – her shiny, perfect, luminous hair. And that laugh, that throaty delicious laugh. That’s it – this is definitely the most gorgeous I have ever seen her. That is, until the next time I see her. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday: Summer TV Edition

You know what I love? Summer TV. I mean, I love TV in general, clearly. But summer TV is a breed unto itself. When I was a kid I don’t really recall having a summer TV season. We called it reruns. But now we’ve got entire shows that only come on when the temperature rises. And something about running in the summer, perhaps the heat or the fact that people are daydreaming about vacation, that makes them more fun. There’s a wink and a nod involved in some of the best summer shows. Leave the serious stuff for those cold, windy months. When the weather gets warm, the TV gets sunny. And when the weather gets warm, the stars of our favorite summer shows, like the lovely Mary-Louise Parker, have a habit of reaching for the tank tops. Like I was saying, I love summer TV.

Mary McCormack, In Plain SightI’m not going to lie, I love all of the pregnancy boob humor the show has gone for this season.



Marsha Thomason, White CollarShe certainly put the “special” in special agent. I demand to see more of Diana and her girlfriend in their “shegulls nest.”



Piper Perabo, Covert AffairsIs it just me, or has this show greatly improved this season? I think it’s because Annie gets to be a real kick-ass agent now, instead of just a pawn used to get to her ex-boyfriend. Also, there’s been a tad less ridiculous running around in high heels.



Kiele Sanchez, The GladesThis show hits my crime procedural sweet spot. Charismatic leads, good chemistry and interesting yet not too scary cases. And Kiele is not exactly terrible to look at either.



Troian Bellisario, Pretty Little LiarsHer voice makes me want to commit a crime, which she will then try to solve. Please come hide in my bushes, Spencer. Wait, that sounded…just about right.



Shay Mitchell, Pretty Little LiarsFor someone freshly out, Emily sure has amassed quite a string of girlfriends already. Maya, Paige, Samara. Though, if you were a teenage lesbian who looked like Shay Mitchell, you wouldn’t be single long either.



Kristin Bauer & friend Liz Vassey, True BloodIn honor of Pam, I declare “think of Estonia” as a new euphemism for cunnilingus.



Rutina Wesley, True BloodOn that note, I’m so glad Tara is thinking of Estonia this season. So glad.



Sasha Alexander, Rizzoli & IslesOh, Dr. Isles. How I’ve missed you and your high femme flirty ways.

Check out AfterEllen.com later today for the return of my Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recaps.

SGALGG: Hands! Hands! Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? A little Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. But I feel positively inspired after seeing all those soccer stars hug each other with their legs in sportsmanship. So now, how about celebrating when the ladies get handsy? Like Chyler Leigh and Mia Kirshner. Seeing Little Grey and Crazy Jenny go all Girls Gone Wild is, um, interesting. Yes, interesting. That’s my predominant emotion right now. Interest. So in the interest of being interested, I thought I’d let some SGALGG fingers do the walking and celebrate some more-than friendly hand placements. As Willow said to Vamp Willow: Hands! Hands!

Michelle Williams & friendHand holding, the basics never go out of style.

Maria Bello & Mariska HargitayHugging, also a classic.

Blake Lively & Leighton MeesterThe old, subtle let’s compare hands trick.

Thora Birch & Mena Suvari Though, subtlety can be overrated.

Laura Harring & Naomi WattsI’m still not entirely sure what “Mulholland Dr.” was all about. But I sure liked it when they kissed.

Emily Haines & FeistAfter a few drinks, arm wrestling always seems like a good idea.

Kate Bosworth & Zoe SaldanaIt’s not Kate’s hand around her waist as much as the hand reaching down for Zoe’s other hand that makes this so, well, yum.

Jessica Alba & Kate HudsonIn my head, she’s doing the opposite of holding Kate’s dress down. My head is a good place sometimes.

Minka Kelly & Minka KellyI don’t know why, but all of a sudden that Divinyls song “I Touch Myself” is running through my head.

Annie Wersching & Angie HarmonOne hand precariously high on Annie’s waist, the other on her gun. Yep, super duper straight.

Speaking of super duper straight, here are Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander in their new TV Guide photoshoot. Clearly, I need to make more straight female friends immediately.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know what’s nice to wear when sailing on a ship? Tank tops. You know what’s nice to see when talking about lesbian “ships?” Tank tops. Life has this beautiful symmetry to it sometimes. Today, in honor of some of our favorite gay lady relationships on TV (maintext, subtext & just the voices in our head varieties), how about a little friendly couple competition? Which pair wears it best? And, to get even more cutthroat, which partner in each pairing wears it best? Total lezzer tank top supremacy awaits, ladies. Choose wisely.

Naya RiveraStill No. 1 in our hearts, minds and pants.

Heather MorrisStill No. 1 in Santana’s heart, mind and pants.

Anna SilkIf you haven’t watched “Lost Girl,” I actually pity you.

Zoie PalmerDr. Hot Pants should always pair them with a tightly fitted tank. Always.

Sara RamirezTank scrubs, think about it Seattle Grace.

Jessica CapshawReally, really think about it Seattle Grace.

Lily LovelessLily, a pint and that smirk – it’s all a growing girl needs to survive.

Kat PrescottThough, of course, a daily supplement of Kat couldn’t hurt either.

Lea MicheleNow this is entirely different kind of “bait girl” look. I approve.

Dianna AgronWearing a tank top is basically the same thing as wearing a “Likes Girls” T-shirt, no?

Angie HarmonThis season on “Rizzoli & Isles,” in addition to wanting more eye sex we should all demand more tank tops.

Sasha AlexanderIsles being a Rizzoli is both confusing and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

Man, life is just one tough decision after another.