Give it to me, baby

You guys, seriously. You guys. You probably already saw this last week. But if you didn’t, it’s one hell of a way to start the work week. And even if you did, it’s still one hell of a way to start your work week. This is Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon enjoying a little on-set dance party for the Angie’s birthday last week. For first timers and repeat viewers alike, it’s certainly something to aspire to in the workplace. Just think how the work week would fly by if we all danced our day away through the office. Oh, Sasha. Oh, Angie. You make me feel gayzzoli all over.

EDIT: Well, shit. I do not know why the video was marked private all of sudden. I hope it’s just a temporary mistake. Until it is made public again, please enjoy this older vintage of Angie Harmon dancing on set instead. It’s still a pretty fantastic way to kick off the work week.

EDIT 2: Embedded with a working reupload of the dance party. Get your groove on.

My Weekend Crush

Angie Harmon’s voice is sex. It’s a deep, raw, primal growl of a thing. She’s got so much rasp to it you’d think you could grate parmesan on her vocal chords. So when you combine that voice with that face and that body and that hair and those big brown eyes… Jesus. I am helpless against the hot. Do I have problems with her politics? You betcha. I cannot condone or even slightly endorse her conservative stances. But, you know what, some people are conservative. I don’t like it, but that’s our right in this country – to believe what we want to believe and say what we want to say. Since she has emphatically expressed her love for The Gays, I’ll begrudgingly agree to disagree with her on her other political proclivities.

She could also exercise a tad more tact sometimes when addressing the giant “are they or aren’t they” elephant in the “Rizzoli & Isles” bedroom. But I think that’s just her. She’s not one for subtly. What she seems to have instead in abundance is a goofy sense of fun and fierce sense of loyalty. Admit it, she seems like she’d be blast to have a cocktail, or six, with. That her chemistry with co-star Sasha Alexander is so electric it’s visible from space doesn’t hurt either. And, Lord, can we get back to her voice? My body reacts almost involuntarily to it, like Pavlov’s dog and that bell – complete with drool. Look, I don’t have to like Angie’s politics to love her on “Rizzoli & Isles.” And I do, I really, really do. Happy weekend, all.

SGALGG: Hands! Hands! Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? A little Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. But I feel positively inspired after seeing all those soccer stars hug each other with their legs in sportsmanship. So now, how about celebrating when the ladies get handsy? Like Chyler Leigh and Mia Kirshner. Seeing Little Grey and Crazy Jenny go all Girls Gone Wild is, um, interesting. Yes, interesting. That’s my predominant emotion right now. Interest. So in the interest of being interested, I thought I’d let some SGALGG fingers do the walking and celebrate some more-than friendly hand placements. As Willow said to Vamp Willow: Hands! Hands!

Michelle Williams & friendHand holding, the basics never go out of style.

Maria Bello & Mariska HargitayHugging, also a classic.

Blake Lively & Leighton MeesterThe old, subtle let’s compare hands trick.

Thora Birch & Mena Suvari Though, subtlety can be overrated.

Laura Harring & Naomi WattsI’m still not entirely sure what “Mulholland Dr.” was all about. But I sure liked it when they kissed.

Emily Haines & FeistAfter a few drinks, arm wrestling always seems like a good idea.

Kate Bosworth & Zoe SaldanaIt’s not Kate’s hand around her waist as much as the hand reaching down for Zoe’s other hand that makes this so, well, yum.

Jessica Alba & Kate HudsonIn my head, she’s doing the opposite of holding Kate’s dress down. My head is a good place sometimes.

Minka Kelly & Minka KellyI don’t know why, but all of a sudden that Divinyls song “I Touch Myself” is running through my head.

Annie Wersching & Angie HarmonOne hand precariously high on Annie’s waist, the other on her gun. Yep, super duper straight.

Speaking of super duper straight, here are Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander in their new TV Guide photoshoot. Clearly, I need to make more straight female friends immediately.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know what’s nice to wear when sailing on a ship? Tank tops. You know what’s nice to see when talking about lesbian “ships?” Tank tops. Life has this beautiful symmetry to it sometimes. Today, in honor of some of our favorite gay lady relationships on TV (maintext, subtext & just the voices in our head varieties), how about a little friendly couple competition? Which pair wears it best? And, to get even more cutthroat, which partner in each pairing wears it best? Total lezzer tank top supremacy awaits, ladies. Choose wisely.

Naya RiveraStill No. 1 in our hearts, minds and pants.

Heather MorrisStill No. 1 in Santana’s heart, mind and pants.

Anna SilkIf you haven’t watched “Lost Girl,” I actually pity you.

Zoie PalmerDr. Hot Pants should always pair them with a tightly fitted tank. Always.

Sara RamirezTank scrubs, think about it Seattle Grace.

Jessica CapshawReally, really think about it Seattle Grace.

Lily LovelessLily, a pint and that smirk – it’s all a growing girl needs to survive.

Kat PrescottThough, of course, a daily supplement of Kat couldn’t hurt either.

Lea MicheleNow this is entirely different kind of “bait girl” look. I approve.

Dianna AgronWearing a tank top is basically the same thing as wearing a “Likes Girls” T-shirt, no?

Angie HarmonThis season on “Rizzoli & Isles,” in addition to wanting more eye sex we should all demand more tank tops.

Sasha AlexanderIsles being a Rizzoli is both confusing and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

Man, life is just one tough decision after another.

Back where they belong

Is it July yet? Yesterday I sang the praises of another kind of crime drama. One of methodical realism and gripping intensity. “Rizzoli & Isles” isn’t like that, and that’s just fine. Ice cream comes in a lot of flavors and you don’t have to like just one. What I like about “Rizzoli & Isles” is the chemistry – that electric, infectious, playful connection between Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander. Also, super duper gay.

So then it’s been fun to follow both Angie and Sasha’s tweets from the set, and their little behind-the-scenes snippets from the new season. (The season 2 premiere is called “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” They just got the script for the third episode.)

Jane is back:How does she manage to look hot even when getting her hair did?

Jane’s shoe:Angie shows us her suspiciously Doc Martens-like police Oxfords. (It’s not, because I can’t see the yellow stitching. But it’s close enough to draw totally baseless conclusions. Amirite?)

Maura is back:It’s unnatural how adorable she is.

Maura’s buddy:I was afraid they’d hurt the turtle tortoise! in the finale, I’m not even kidding.

But do you know what I really, really miss? Seeing them together. Clearly they are both gorgeous and lovely and talented in their own right. But together they’re like unicorns and rainbows. Awesome alone, freaking magic together. So then, without further adoing, I give you our Rizzles back in action.

July 11 is too damn far away. We want Jane and Sasha Maura eye sex, and we want it now. Though, nice practicing on the camera there, Angie.

p.s. I’m not the only dork counting the days until the “Rizzoli & Isles” premiere. Me & Liz are gonna watch it together with some night cheese.

Naked Lady Monday: Bees Knees

The knee gets so little credit in the human anatomy. They’re knobby or knocked, and occasionally we’ve been known to go weak at them. But what they really are, when placed correctly with its constant companion the thigh, is a mighty protector of a lady’s virtue. Or, looking at it from another angle, an obstacle to overcome when seeking to passionately plunder said virtue. Still, whether clutched or crossed, the humble knee should be appreciated for its ability to spark our interest and stoke the imagination. And, of course, a swift knee to almost any other part of the anatomy has the ability to render another person immediately immobile. So, bottom line, knees – respect.

Cate BlanchettJust in case her knees weren’t modest enough, she’s got a full-body hose backup.

Angelina JolieBed head is almost always an instant knee weakener.

Kate HudsonWhen the humble knee is not enough, a book will help in a pinch. But, just make sure it’s a hardcover. A trade paperback won’t cover squat.

Marion CotillardIt probably would have just been easier to button her coat. Easier, but not more enjoyable.

Anna FrielGod, I miss “Pushing Daisies.”

Serena WilliamsI’ve seen how she fills out her tennis uniforms; there’s no way one knee would have sufficed.

Naomi WattsWorks backwards, too.

Lea MicheleWhen the “Glee” kids are doing it, you know it’s a trend.

Olivia WildeOver the weekend I caught a “House” rerun and then rewatched “When Night is Falling.” Let me tell you, that made for some very, very acrobatic dreams involving the lovely Ms. Wilde. Hello, wobbly knees.

Tank Top Tuesday

Sometimes, when putting together Tank Top Tuesday posts, I struggle to find a theme. Sporty shots. Black and white shots. Candid shots. Fancy shots. Shoddy shots. But then sometimes I look at my pictures and realize, honey, you’re really over thinking it. Hotties + Tank Tops = No Additional Explanation Required. In other words, as you can see from Salma Hayek above, I picked these pictures today because they’re hot. You’re welcome. Now go have a nice Tuesday.

Tricia HelferShe is going to guest star on “Lie to Me.” Jesus, Tim Roth. First Jennifer Beals now Tricia? Lucky bastard.

Diane LaneI thought about seeing “Secretariat,” but (spoiler alert) I already know the horse wins. So, um, where’s the suspense in that?

Liv TylerI know a lot of people look at her and see an elf queen, but I’ll always see that gal who cavorted with Alicia Silverstone.

Kate HudsonProof that every gal looks great with suspenders and a belt chain. Even gals who only really ever made one good movie. (“Almost Famous,” duh.)

Amber HeardSpeaking of good movies, boy, “Drive Angry” does not look like one. But, um, Amber is still pretty – and in 3D.

Emily HainesI want Emily to dance around in sparkly shirts and fierce boots while filling my heart with joy forever and ever. And if that sparkly top happens to be a tank top, all the better.

Debbie HarryDebbie doesn’t need to dance around to fill my heart with joy forever and ever. Those cheekbones are more than enough.

Angie HarmonSo much is happening here. A plane. A headset. All that cleavage. I have no idea where this is from. I am completely OK with that. (p.s. You’re reading the Rizzoli & Isles Retro Subtext Recaps, right? Right.)

See, best not to over think things.

Tank Top Tuesday/SGALGG: Rizzoli & Isles

Kittens, do we need to hug out last night’s “Rizzoli & Isles” finale? Why am I even asking, get in here. *hughughughughughughug*

Better? Still no? What about if I combined a very special Tank Top Tuesday with a very special Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals Edition? I think it is only fair after what can only be classified as a really fucking traumatizing cliff hanger. When I said “HOLY FUCKINIG SHIT,” I meant “HOLY FUCKING SHIT.” Of course, we know she will be fine. The show has already been renewed for a 13-episode second season and they’re not going to rename it “& Isles.” So for the long, long, long year that we have to wait until our leading ladies get touchy feely in a non-“let me dress that wound” way with each other again, let this tide you over.

[Click any and all to enlarge the therapeutic T3/SGALGGing]

HUGGING!GAZING!TOUCHING!SHARING THE SAME BED!

DREAMING – SWEET, SWEET DREAMING![Another Photoshop masterpiece by the amazing Bee!]

And if none of that helped, take comfort in the inevitable Dr. Isles nursing Det. Rizzoli back to health fan-fic that will no doubt flood the internet until next summer. Tell the doctor where it hurts.

UPDATE: My Subtext Recap for the finale is up at AfterEllen. Mmm, subtexty.