Katherine Heigl is making my head hurt. No, not just because she has made a series of movies that look, sound and indeed are awful. Don’t get me wrong, that makes my head hurt – but that’s not the main reason my head hurts. The main reason my head hurts is because Katherine Heigl’s big screen career embodies one of life’s most eternal and unanswerable questions: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Now, I have nothing really against Katherine. I appreciated how she had T.R. Knight’s back during the whole “Grey’s Anatomy” gay slur kerfuffle. And I have no problems with her acting abilities or outspokenness. But it’s the kind of movies she is selected – bland, generic, uninspired fare that reinforces the uptight single woman stereotype – that makes me and a lot of other people cranky. We could spend hours, days, weeks pondering the five Ws: who, what, when, where and why did people think these movies were a good idea? Which, of course, leads us back to out original question. Is she making bland, generic, uninspired rom-coms because that is all that is out there for actresses or does her taste in rom-coms just really stink? I would say it’s probably a little of both. Yes, romantic comedies have become rote and formulaic. But, no, Katherine isn’t the only one with a long list of crap rom-coms on her resume. (Hey, Jennifer Lopez! Sup, Jennifer Aniston! Hola, Kate Hudson!)
So what’s a gal who admittedly enjoys a nice, cozy rom-com from time to time to do in the face of a cineplex full of Katherine Heigl movies and their unillustrious ilk? Seek indie fare? Retreat to Netflix? Read a Jane Austen novel? Chicken, egg –who knows. I just know I cannot endure any more “unlikely suitor, high-concept hijinks, unnecessary obstacle, true love, happy ending.”
p.s. This does not, in any way, excuse the men who make crap rom-coms. Yes, Ashton Kutcher, I mean you – put down that Nikon, stop Twittering and start making movies that don’t suck.
Look, I realize we’re all on a “Glee” high right now (congrats Jane and Lea for those Golden Globe nods – and Matthew, but mostly that’s just for your lesbian hair). But Lea Michele and Dianna Agron aren’t the only TV co-stars who can bring award caliber SGALGG. In fact, many a leading ladies get extracurricularly touchy feely with each other. Those long hours on the set between takes with nothing to do but hang out and look longingly at one another naturally leads to a lot of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals situations. It’s like they know we’re writing the femflash already, so why not help us along. I mean, how can you look at that picture and not know that Joan and Peggy were made for each other?
The T-shirt says it all.
Katherine seems to be protecting her delicate areas. It’s like she knows Kate is, um, grabby.
Hand placement is everything.
They really, really shouldn’t have killed off Vicki.
Everyone is all about Serena and Blair, but that look says little Dawnie has some plans of her own – naughty plans.
OK, it’s a little May-December, but think of the delicious power struggle that would ensue.
Fooled you by not using Tina, didn’t I?
I hear they don’t get along on the set. But, clearly, that’s a cover to hide the sexual tension. Clearly.
Granted, Kirsten is a GG instead of a SG. But A.J. and Paget look incredibly eager to, shall we say, experiment.
What, you thought I’d forget “Glee” entirely?
Could you imagine if Terri and Emma hooked up instead? Best of all, there’d be no need to fake any sort of pregnancy.
