Halle Berry

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Halle Berry

Full Name : Maria Halle Berry
Born : August 14, 1966 (1966-08-14)
Cleveland, Ohio, U.S.
Occupation : Actress
Years active : 1990–
Spouse : David Justice 1992–1997
Partner : Gabriel Aubry (2005–2010)
Olivier Martinez : (2010–)

SGALGG: Lesbian Oscars Edition

God, did you make it through all 127 hours of the Oscars telecast? Did anyone find James Franco’s personality? Or, better yet, could he have just shared whatever he was smoking with all of us. That way it would have been a much more enjoyable experience for all parties involved. Though, despite the show falling in its desperate attempt to be young and breaking its hipness, there were still some quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals moments. I mean, the show’s one conscious host Anne Hathaway herself called it “a great year for lesbians.”

Michelle Willliams & Busy PhillipsBusy was Michele’s date for the Oscars, and they even arrived holding hands. Someone needs to give them a portmanteau tout de suite.

Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron DiazI can’t tell if I’m more excited by the SGALGGy hug or the arm porn. Probably both.

Sandra Bullock & Halle BerryI will pay good money to whoever has the next photo in this sequence. Kiss her you fool!

Marisa Tomei & Melissa LeoMarisa looks like she’s about to jump into Melissa’s arms. And then, in my head, they do the dramatic lift from “Dirty Dancing.”

Selena Gomez & Taylor SwiftWhile the Bieber kid looks more lesbian, Selena and Taylor make a cuter couple.

Leslie Mann, Emma Stone & Jennifer WestfeldtThe best thing about this picture is how badly Judd Apatow wants to make this a foursome and how defiantly the ladies are keeping it a threesome.

Rosario Dawson & Jennifer HudsonWhat I would not give to hear a “Take Me or Leave Me” duet between those two.

Reese Witherspoon & Elizabeth BanksI’m assuming Reese just said something absolutely filthy about what she was going to do with that finger and Elizabeth approves.

Anne HathawayIf only Anne had hosted with herself and her tuxedoed self, instead of James Franco. It would have been so much more entertaining, and hot.

Lea Michele & Dianna AgronI particularly love how they both look like they’ve been caught in the act. Busted, Achele, busted.

GGALGG Bonus: Lora Hirschberg & her wife LauraOut lesbian sound mixer Lora Hirschberg won for Inception and got a smooch on her way to the stage.

OK, Anne Hathaway, you were right. It was a great year for lesbians, or at least lesbian behavior.

p.s. Check out my full Oscar recap over at AfterEllen.

Never cross a dame

Helen, Helen. Even when you’re cross you’re hot. You’re right to be cross. In fact, I like it when a lady is a little cranky sometimes. It shows she cares enough to hate what’s wrong with the world. Or, you know, just people in general. I totally get that. So when you answered The Hollywood Reporter’s question about how it makes you feel to be a role model for having sex appeal in your 60s like this, I can’t help but swoon.

“A bit cross, actually. We have to let go of this crap. It creates even more pressure on women, and I certainly don’t want to be a part of that. I’m not beautiful; I clean up nice. Why don’t we talk about the fact, for example, that I just did Arthur, and the cinematographer was a woman, the film operator was a woman, the whole camera team were women? That’s where we should be putting our attention. The fact that I look good at the age I am is bloody irrelevant.”

True and hot. I agree, the never-ending focus on women’s appearance at every age adds to the pressure to be, look, conform to some kind of idealized, unattainable beauty standard. But I also think it’s great to celebrate beauty in all its forms: any size, any age, any race. And, sometimes you just can’t fight the hot.

At The Hollywood Reporter’s annual Women in Entertainment breakfast yesterday, Helen took home the Sherry Lansing Leadership Award. Coincidentally, this is the same award Jodie Foster won in 2007 and finally publicly thanked her then longtime partner Cydney Bernard as “my beautiful Cydney.” Helen accepted her speech with her normal saucy humor and take-no-bullshit attitude. But first, she had to hike up her Spanx.

Helen, Helen. What is hot is not just the fact that you clean up well but that your mind is so clear. OK, it’s also hot when you SGALGG a little with Halle Berry. But mostly the mind thing. Mostly.

Trust us, Helen, no one here will ever “worship at the altar of the 18 to 25-year-old male and his penis.” But we will happily worship at yours. Always.