First rule of Fight Club

WARNING: Right, so if you haven’t watched the season premiere of “True Blood” yet, shoo. Get. Go on now. Spoilers are coming up. But if you’ve already watched or have no intention of watching but want to know what I’m talking about anyway, please, let us proceed together.



Right, so how much more do we love Tara now? Or, I should say, Toni. Man, I have to say she was one of the consistenly most annoying characters on “True Blood,” through no fault of her own but the writing’s consistent insistence on making her as the angry, clueless, angry some more victim. And, well, that’s no fun at parties. But now that Tara has effectively rebooted her life as an octagon-ready MMA fighter with a hot MMA fighting girlfriend, I suddenly find her so much more interesting. So much more.

Granted, we’re not really sure where this storyline is going. It’s problematic that Tara’s new identity comes with secrets and lies (Toni? Atlanta? Dead grandma?). And it’s also problematic that Tara seems to have come to whatever section of the gay-lesbian-bisexual sliding scale she is on after a series of really disastrous relationships with men. But, I’m just going to be super shallow and say how consequences-be-damned hot the scenes between Tara/Toni (Rutina Wesley) and Naomi (Vedette Lim) were in Monday’s premiere. What, you’re having trouble remembering? Let me help you with that.

Yes, the lying. Yes, the deception. Yes, the fake name. Yes, I know. I know. Still, so hot. If that’s the last we see of the luscious Naomi this season I will be a very, very, very unhappy camper.

Also, what’s in the water over there on “True Blood.” Right now Sookie and Jessica are practically the only female characters (OK, minus a few Merlotte’s waitresses) who haven’t gotten their lady loving on. To date: Pam (with the Estonian stripper), Queen Sophie-Anne (with Sookie’s cousin Hadley) and Nan from the American Vampire League (with some very topless lady in her limo) and now Tara and her MMA sparring partner? Granted, most of those are vamps – who I think might all be bisexual or pansexual or just plain equal opportunity about their horniness/hunger. But, still, that’s a lot of ladies willing to step up to the bat for our team on one show.

Right, like I was saying: Go Tara/Toni. Get it, girl. Get. It.